Skype-Enabled TVs...and Why I Never Want One.

Apparently now you can get Skype INSIDE your TV. That's horrible. I hate that idea for a whole myriad of reasons. Just a few being:

1). When I'm sat watching TV, very often I am doing so from under a blanket, or whilst stuffing food, or whilst dressed in something function and comfortable, yet hideous. I take my make-up off. I don't want to be pigging out in my PJs in front of a chick-flick and all of a sudden there's a massive face on my TV having a conversation.

2). "But you have to answer a call...They don't just 'pop up' and start talking." you say. I say "Ask my husband how often I use the remote correctly on the first time of trying". I spent a month using the new DVD remote the wrong way around. Seriously. There is no way I would be cancelling a call without accidentally answering it first.

3). Skype, as with all instant messengers are acceptable on the internet. You're doing other things. You're on other websites. You don't really notice the occasional gaps in conversation. But we all know those Awkward Conversation People. They make an excellent start, all the conversational ingredients are there, and then...Nothing. They use Skype too. Imagine the following conversation on Skype on your computer on an instant messenger. Not too bad, right? You get on with other things. You carry on browsing your websites.

THEN imagine it on your wide-screen TV. In your lounge..."face to face"...

 

"Hi"

"Hi"

"How are you?"

"Fine thanks, you?"

"I'm good."

[silence...Followed by more silence...On TV imagine that silence accompanied by uncomfortable, shifty staring]

*shudder*

4). Eventually, your family will get it too. And learn how to work it. Now, I can answer the phone to a member of my family, and it doesn't matter if I haven't yet cleared away my dishes from breakfast, or if I haven't dusted this week, or if there is a pile of clean clothes on the sofa waiting to be ferried upstairs. They don't know that (OK, they're my family, they DO know/suspect that, they're just too polite to mention it). If that call was also accompanied by a widescreen shot of my lounge, it would be a complete unbridled nightmare of shame. Right now people who don't live here see the version of the house I wish to present at a pre-arranged time and date. And to be fair, that house at that time and date would never make the pages of a glossy magazine, unless it was a "What Not To Do..." article, or possibly an article on spotting the warning signs of hoarding. Imagine me when I'm NOT prepared. No. Don't. No-one should have to see that.

Stop imagining.

STOP. IT.