It's sniffing season. I hate the sound of people sniffing. Just blow your nose!! I even hate having to sniff myself, I actually irritate myself. I have gone so far as to offer tissues to people who are browsing at work because their constant sniffing was driving me insane. I'm just being helpful, maybe you forgot a tissue...It's not that I'm wanting to smack you in the head with something to stop the Chinese-water-torture-esque noise (honest!).
Few people realise how much it irritates me. So in no particular order, I give you 10 Really Annoying Things That Are Still LESS Annoying Than Sniffing:
Screaming children.
Rave music.
People who cut lines/traffic.
Cold-callers.
Running out of toilet roll.
"There's an unexpected item in the bagging area..."
Kids faking American accents.
Smudging/chipping a nail.
Jazz Music.
That stupid Flora "Wrestling" advert.
Showing posts with label Listography. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Listography. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
Listography: 5 Things I Inexplicably Love
In no particular order of preference:
1). Notebooks.
My name is Sarah, and I am a notebook addict. There. I said it. If there was a Stationery Anonymous, I would be a founder member. I love notebooks. The day they opened a Paperchase in Sheffield was easily one of my happiest. I am obsessed with Paperchase notebooks (and Paperchase in general), especially the big chunky ones with decorated pages, like the one above. I think it all started when I used to get little scented notebooks (do they still sell those?! I want one) in my Advent calendar when I was about four years old.
2). Paisley.
I think paisley is much under-appreciated these days. Yes, it can be garish and hideously bright and busy, but that really is all part of it's charm, don't you think?? It's exciting! It makes your brain wince a bit and, if the pattern is patterny enough, it's a bit baffling and your eyeballs get a bit bamboozled, but in a good way. I love it. As if you didn't all feel sorry enough for my husband, we have not one but TWO sets of paisley bedding in our collection (I say "our", obviously I mean "my". As long as there are covers of some description he doesn't really care either way...and I think he only cares that there are covers because I shout if there are pillows that don't have cases on).
3). Brown labels.
Paddington Bear. Old vintage suitcases. Bottles that say "Drink Me". Black and white photos of small children on station platforms in dufflecoats. We should use more brown labels. They're awesome.
4). Leather bookmarks.
I guess the inexplicable thing is that I collect leather bookmarks (as in, I have over 100 of them), but I never USE leather bookmarks, because they make your pages stay too far apart. My bookmark of choice is a tissue or a square of toilet paper (purely for size, not reading location!!!!!). I don't actually own the bookmark above, but I chose it for illustrative purposes as it also covers some of the obscure places that have their own bookmarks. I have bookmarks from places that don't even exist any more. For as long as I can remember when we went anywhere with a gift shop, my Grandpa would buy me a leather bookmark. Then whenever I went anywhere they didn't that had a gift shop, I would buy myself a leather bookmark. It has become my souvenir of choice. Now, other people also buy me leather bookmarks. I'm concerned and disappointed that Walt Disney World do not sell leather bookmarks. John was more than a little concerned that I am concerned by that.
5). Pointless glass objects.
Yup, love them. Not all of them are pointless, some are vases, glasses, etc, but I LOVE pretty glass things. Colours, bubbles, shapes, snowglobes, jars, candle holders...Love it all.
1). Notebooks.
2). Paisley.
I think paisley is much under-appreciated these days. Yes, it can be garish and hideously bright and busy, but that really is all part of it's charm, don't you think?? It's exciting! It makes your brain wince a bit and, if the pattern is patterny enough, it's a bit baffling and your eyeballs get a bit bamboozled, but in a good way. I love it. As if you didn't all feel sorry enough for my husband, we have not one but TWO sets of paisley bedding in our collection (I say "our", obviously I mean "my". As long as there are covers of some description he doesn't really care either way...and I think he only cares that there are covers because I shout if there are pillows that don't have cases on).
3). Brown labels.
Paddington Bear. Old vintage suitcases. Bottles that say "Drink Me". Black and white photos of small children on station platforms in dufflecoats. We should use more brown labels. They're awesome.
4). Leather bookmarks.
 |
| I don't have this one. I wish I did. Always expanding the collection... |
I guess the inexplicable thing is that I collect leather bookmarks (as in, I have over 100 of them), but I never USE leather bookmarks, because they make your pages stay too far apart. My bookmark of choice is a tissue or a square of toilet paper (purely for size, not reading location!!!!!). I don't actually own the bookmark above, but I chose it for illustrative purposes as it also covers some of the obscure places that have their own bookmarks. I have bookmarks from places that don't even exist any more. For as long as I can remember when we went anywhere with a gift shop, my Grandpa would buy me a leather bookmark. Then whenever I went anywhere they didn't that had a gift shop, I would buy myself a leather bookmark. It has become my souvenir of choice. Now, other people also buy me leather bookmarks. I'm concerned and disappointed that Walt Disney World do not sell leather bookmarks. John was more than a little concerned that I am concerned by that.
5). Pointless glass objects.
 |
| Image copyright www.glass-sphere.com |
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Listography: 10 Reasons I Am Thankful For America
Happy Thanksgiving, USAians!!
I thought I would take this opportunity to list the 10 reasons, that I can think of right now, in no particular order of preference (apart from #1 is OBVIOUSLY my #1 reason, if you know me. At. All.) that I am thankful for America.
1). Disney. Disney films, Walt Disney World, Walt Disney, Disney Land, Disney Store. . . DISNEY.
2). Bon Jovi.
3). Peanut Butter M&Ms. Not the regular ones, because obviously Smarties are far superior, chocolate-wise. Not the peanut ones. But definitely the peanut butter ones.
4). Lucky Charms. Or perhaps, the fact that America doesn't seem to give two hoots about the colourings/additives/sugar content of food, and thus are still allowed to sell Lucky Charms. For the foreigners. . . In the UK they used to sell Lucky Charms, until they discovered there was more sugar than cereal, and then they couldn't sell them with cereals because of the high sugar content and cereal health guidelines, and because they couldn't figure anywhere else to sell them, they just stopped selling them altogether. Now you can buy them from "American Candy" specialist shops, for about £8/small box.
5). Elvis Presley.
6). Toby Keith.
7). People who have to be moved on low-loaders, and make me feel thin. Now, I'm not making light of morbid obesity (OK, maybe I did then *chortle*), nor am I presuming that we don't have our fair share of similarly sized people over here. But whenever I'm having a fat day, a quick scan of "People Of Walmart" never fails to make me feel waif-like and glamorous.
8). Cowboy hats. Cowboy hats are my go-to sun hat of choice. Not many people can pull them off. I'm not sure I can, but being very short, conventional wide-brimmed sun hats make me look like the oriental mushrooms in "Fantasia", so I figured quirky cowboy hats were a better option.
9). WWE.
10). Awesome friends. I have made some great friends over the years who hail from the States.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! :D
I thought I would take this opportunity to list the 10 reasons, that I can think of right now, in no particular order of preference (apart from #1 is OBVIOUSLY my #1 reason, if you know me. At. All.) that I am thankful for America.
1). Disney. Disney films, Walt Disney World, Walt Disney, Disney Land, Disney Store. . . DISNEY.
2). Bon Jovi.
3). Peanut Butter M&Ms. Not the regular ones, because obviously Smarties are far superior, chocolate-wise. Not the peanut ones. But definitely the peanut butter ones.
4). Lucky Charms. Or perhaps, the fact that America doesn't seem to give two hoots about the colourings/additives/sugar content of food, and thus are still allowed to sell Lucky Charms. For the foreigners. . . In the UK they used to sell Lucky Charms, until they discovered there was more sugar than cereal, and then they couldn't sell them with cereals because of the high sugar content and cereal health guidelines, and because they couldn't figure anywhere else to sell them, they just stopped selling them altogether. Now you can buy them from "American Candy" specialist shops, for about £8/small box.
5). Elvis Presley.
6). Toby Keith.
7). People who have to be moved on low-loaders, and make me feel thin. Now, I'm not making light of morbid obesity (OK, maybe I did then *chortle*), nor am I presuming that we don't have our fair share of similarly sized people over here. But whenever I'm having a fat day, a quick scan of "People Of Walmart" never fails to make me feel waif-like and glamorous.
8). Cowboy hats. Cowboy hats are my go-to sun hat of choice. Not many people can pull them off. I'm not sure I can, but being very short, conventional wide-brimmed sun hats make me look like the oriental mushrooms in "Fantasia", so I figured quirky cowboy hats were a better option.
9). WWE.
10). Awesome friends. I have made some great friends over the years who hail from the States.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! :D
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Listography: Six Songs Of Me
1. What was the first song you ever bought?First song...I honestly can't remember. I seemed to come by most of my early music as presents. The first music I would have been given (that I remember) was when I was about four or five years old. A Jive Bunny cassette, I think that was for my birthday, with a little red Sony Walkman. Shortly followed by a Neil Sedaka Greatest Hits cassette (I was convinced he was Bob from Sesame Street. Even though he wasn't Bob, I still love Neil Sedaka (and Sesame Street...) ;).
2. What song always gets you dancing?
That would have to be something cheesy like "The Macarena". Very few songs actually get me dancing, I'm really not much of a dancer at all. I have no moves. I either have to be tipsy, or guaranteed that a lot of people will look more stupid than me (hence, "The Macarena"). Recently I have been known to modernise my repertoire with "Cha-Cha Slide".
3. What song takes you back to your childhood?
Lots! The "Laurel and Hardy" theme (Dad whistling), "Hole In The Ground" (singing in the bath it was my song of choice), "You Are My Sunshine" (Grandma's song of choice), "Magificent Men In Their Flying Machines" (Mum used to sing it to me to send me to sleep), "D.I.V.O.R.C.E" (no sad reasons, Tammy Wynette was my cassette of choice in Grandpa's car on the way to the farm), "Rhinestone Cowboy" (cassette of choice in Dad's car, Glenn Campbell). Guess I always was a country girl!
4. What is your perfect love song?
"All For Love", Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting. Our first dance at our wedding.
"All That Really Matters", Richie Sambora. One of the tracks we chose for our wedding DVD. It was also second choice for first dance, but "All For Love" won out because I would have cried if we had used "All That Really Matters", and the make-up lady was expensive. ;)
"When I look at you
I realise
There comes a time in someone's life
When you find things that matter
And every time we touch
The love runs deep
We realize it's our to keep
And that's all that really matters.
You'll always be my sweet addiction
In this life my saving grace
Girl you're all that really matters
You know it's true
There ain't no me without you."
5. What song would you want at your funeral?
"When I Get Where I'm Goin'", Brad Paisley Feat. Dolly Parton.
"When I get where I'm goin',
There'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm goin',
Don't cry for me down here."
6. Time for the encore. One last song that make you you.
Do I really have one? There is an awful lot of music that I LOVE, just love, makes my heart happy, kind of love. I can't even pick a favourite song. I have a different one every day/week/month. I don't have an anthem. Even my husband can't think of one song that "makes me me". I suddenly and without warning get "Bolero" stuck in my head with alarming regularity, but I certainly wouldn't say that was a "makes me me" song, even if I do whistle it a lot. Hmm. I don't think I have an answer to that one!
2. What song always gets you dancing?
That would have to be something cheesy like "The Macarena". Very few songs actually get me dancing, I'm really not much of a dancer at all. I have no moves. I either have to be tipsy, or guaranteed that a lot of people will look more stupid than me (hence, "The Macarena"). Recently I have been known to modernise my repertoire with "Cha-Cha Slide".
3. What song takes you back to your childhood?
Lots! The "Laurel and Hardy" theme (Dad whistling), "Hole In The Ground" (singing in the bath it was my song of choice), "You Are My Sunshine" (Grandma's song of choice), "Magificent Men In Their Flying Machines" (Mum used to sing it to me to send me to sleep), "D.I.V.O.R.C.E" (no sad reasons, Tammy Wynette was my cassette of choice in Grandpa's car on the way to the farm), "Rhinestone Cowboy" (cassette of choice in Dad's car, Glenn Campbell). Guess I always was a country girl!
4. What is your perfect love song?
"All For Love", Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting. Our first dance at our wedding.
"All That Really Matters", Richie Sambora. One of the tracks we chose for our wedding DVD. It was also second choice for first dance, but "All For Love" won out because I would have cried if we had used "All That Really Matters", and the make-up lady was expensive. ;)
"When I look at you
I realise
There comes a time in someone's life
When you find things that matter
And every time we touch
The love runs deep
We realize it's our to keep
And that's all that really matters.
You'll always be my sweet addiction
In this life my saving grace
Girl you're all that really matters
You know it's true
There ain't no me without you."
5. What song would you want at your funeral?
"When I Get Where I'm Goin'", Brad Paisley Feat. Dolly Parton.
"When I get where I'm goin',
There'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm goin',
Don't cry for me down here."
6. Time for the encore. One last song that make you you.
Do I really have one? There is an awful lot of music that I LOVE, just love, makes my heart happy, kind of love. I can't even pick a favourite song. I have a different one every day/week/month. I don't have an anthem. Even my husband can't think of one song that "makes me me". I suddenly and without warning get "Bolero" stuck in my head with alarming regularity, but I certainly wouldn't say that was a "makes me me" song, even if I do whistle it a lot. Hmm. I don't think I have an answer to that one!
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Listography: The 5 Signs Of Christmas.
As soon as we hit October, the countdown to Christmas begins (unless you want to start at 100 sleeps, in which case you started on Sept 16th), and so I await The Five Signs of Christmas. . .
1). The Magical Elves are back!! No, I haven't finally flipped. These are the Magical Elves of which I rave:
Cadbury's Magical Elves are amazing. Well, OK, they're elf-shaped Freddo bars with popping candy in them. Not that that's not amazing, but what they represent is even more amazing. Christmas time is near!
2). The Boots Christmas Gift Guide. This sign seems to be arriving earlier and earlier. I remember sitting as a kid every Halloween after my trick-or-treating, waiting for Trick-or-Treaters to arrive, reading the Boots Christmas Gift Guide and the Studio Catalogue, sneaking sweets out of the Halloween bowl and making lists of things that I would never be able to afford. Holiday is two pay days away!
3). DFS "In Your Home For Christmas" adverts. The only DFS adverts that aren't depressingly annoying (Concerningly though, they do seem to be running one for the END of the sale?! Do they know something we don't? Is DFS run by the Mayans?!! *Debates pre-emptive Christmas on Dec. 11th just in case*). Christmas is near! But still far away enough to buy a new sofa. . .
4). Christmas Lights Switch-On. For us, the Friday after Bonfire Night is the big Christmas lights switch-on hoo-ha at work. And, even though for the past few years the decorations outside our shop have looked like giant glittery hemorrhoids, it does still put you in the mood for Christmas.
5). The Coca-Cola Truck Advert. I love this advert so much that I literally have the T-shirt. No really, I do, and it looks like this:
(Photograph Copyright TruffleShuffle.com)
HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!!! :D
Friday, 3 August 2012
Listography: 5 Things I DON'T Hate About The Olympics 2012
If you missed my previous posts, here are Top 5 Reasons I Hate The Olympics 2012, and 5 More Things I Hate About The Olympics 2012.
But, the Olympics aren't all bad, even to me. So, here are 5 Things I DON'T Hate About The Olympics 2012.
1). The Awesome Nails/Hair Statements. All of the atheletes have their national uniforms that must be worn at all times when competing, but they, especially the ladies, are finding some wonderful ways of showing off their patriotic spirit/personalities. There have been some iffy moments (oh Ryan Lochte, you don't need a sparkly diamond grill to be pretty), but on the whole, they have been awesome. Also, I REALLY want to visit the nail bar in the video above.
2). Animals are allowed to compete. Well, horses. But seriously, I think horses should be paving the way for other animals in sport. We could have a whole animal Olympics, really. Rabbit hurdles, guinea pig long-jump, alligator/shark swimming (seperate pools, obviously), sheep racing, squirrel gymnastics, gorilla wrestling (two gorillas, not gorilla vs human), snail racing, monkey tennis (sorry foreigners who haven't seen Alan Partridge...just laugh, it's funny I assure you), and I'm fairly certain monkeys could be trained to fling discus and javelin instead of poo, there are definite possibilities here. Obviously the Olympic Village would have to be way more segregated than it is at the moment, just for the safety of the atheletes, but I think it could work.*
3). The red button. The BBC channels (for people in other countries where it might not...) have an extra features menu, that appears if you press the red button on your remote, and allow you to view other content/programmes that are additional to what's on the regular channel. The Olympics have a menu all of their own, which essentially allow you to flick through all of the sports live, and choose which live feed you want to watch. This basically means that you can flick through and look for the most attractive atheletes (I mean...most interesting sport...), and bingo! I love this feature.
4). We actually appear to be quite good at quite a lot of it. Sadly, we usually seem to focus all of our money, attention and TV coverage in England on sports that we are profoundly bad at. Football, cricket...Football...Cricket...You get the jist. It's nice to see us actually being televised at being good at something.
5). The Opening Ceremony was actually pretty awesome. Granted, we didn't (IMO) top the giant inflatible beavers, and there were some sketchy moments, like Paul McCartney, the formation Abe Lincolns (come on, non-UK residents...When you first saw it did you think Isambard Kingdom Brunel, or Abraham Lincoln? Honestly?), and the NHS bit with the commentator reporting that "Children are often afraid of staying in hospital...Here children's book characters make it less frightening..." as a giant puppet Voldemort seemingly lifted a small girl's hospital bed up into the air accompanied by scary music and fired sparks out of his wand. But on the whole, I enjoyed it, and I have to say, I LOVED the idea for the flame, it was just beautiful.
* FYI...I am opposed to cruelty to animals/real-life animal "sports" that involve any kind of cruelty at all.
But, the Olympics aren't all bad, even to me. So, here are 5 Things I DON'T Hate About The Olympics 2012.
1). The Awesome Nails/Hair Statements. All of the atheletes have their national uniforms that must be worn at all times when competing, but they, especially the ladies, are finding some wonderful ways of showing off their patriotic spirit/personalities. There have been some iffy moments (oh Ryan Lochte, you don't need a sparkly diamond grill to be pretty), but on the whole, they have been awesome. Also, I REALLY want to visit the nail bar in the video above.
Photo Rob Schumacher, USA Today Sports
2). Animals are allowed to compete. Well, horses. But seriously, I think horses should be paving the way for other animals in sport. We could have a whole animal Olympics, really. Rabbit hurdles, guinea pig long-jump, alligator/shark swimming (seperate pools, obviously), sheep racing, squirrel gymnastics, gorilla wrestling (two gorillas, not gorilla vs human), snail racing, monkey tennis (sorry foreigners who haven't seen Alan Partridge...just laugh, it's funny I assure you), and I'm fairly certain monkeys could be trained to fling discus and javelin instead of poo, there are definite possibilities here. Obviously the Olympic Village would have to be way more segregated than it is at the moment, just for the safety of the atheletes, but I think it could work.*
3). The red button. The BBC channels (for people in other countries where it might not...) have an extra features menu, that appears if you press the red button on your remote, and allow you to view other content/programmes that are additional to what's on the regular channel. The Olympics have a menu all of their own, which essentially allow you to flick through all of the sports live, and choose which live feed you want to watch. This basically means that you can flick through and look for the most attractive atheletes (I mean...most interesting sport...), and bingo! I love this feature.
4). We actually appear to be quite good at quite a lot of it. Sadly, we usually seem to focus all of our money, attention and TV coverage in England on sports that we are profoundly bad at. Football, cricket...Football...Cricket...You get the jist. It's nice to see us actually being televised at being good at something.
5). The Opening Ceremony was actually pretty awesome. Granted, we didn't (IMO) top the giant inflatible beavers, and there were some sketchy moments, like Paul McCartney, the formation Abe Lincolns (come on, non-UK residents...When you first saw it did you think Isambard Kingdom Brunel, or Abraham Lincoln? Honestly?), and the NHS bit with the commentator reporting that "Children are often afraid of staying in hospital...Here children's book characters make it less frightening..." as a giant puppet Voldemort seemingly lifted a small girl's hospital bed up into the air accompanied by scary music and fired sparks out of his wand. But on the whole, I enjoyed it, and I have to say, I LOVED the idea for the flame, it was just beautiful.
* FYI...I am opposed to cruelty to animals/real-life animal "sports" that involve any kind of cruelty at all.
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Listography - Top 5 Albums by Male Solo Artist.
This is so hard to pick! I have different favourite albums/artists every week, so this is a rough selection of the ones usually in the favourites pile. I'm going to number in reverse order, to complete the chart-style countdown.
5). Jim Steinman - Bad For Good
Never heard of it? No, I thought not. Jim Steinman didn't just write for other people, and Bad For Good is an awesome album of his (often very cheesy) solo stuff. Time to get Dance In Your Pants!
4). Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
The original, and still the best.
3). Bryan Adams - 18 'Til I Die
2). Toby Keith - 35 Greatest Hits
Yup, picking a Greatest Hits album IS a cop-out. But, it really is a great album, there are no tracks where you think "Hmmm, Greatest Hits? Wouldn't have picked that one..." Plus, the last track is a brand new one, "She's a Hottie", which I love.
1). Undiscovered Soul - Richie Sambora
Possibly my all-time favourite album of all-time. Ever. There isn't a single dud track in my opinion. Who knew that Richie Sambora had a solo album? In fact, who knew that he had two? Way more bluesy than anything Bon Jovi ever did, Richie Sambora has a far better voice than Mr Bon Jovi lets on...
5). Jim Steinman - Bad For Good
4). Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
3). Bryan Adams - 18 'Til I Die
My favourite Bryan Adams album, and also my first. I got 18 'Til I Die from one of my very best friends, on a cassette, when I was about 12 (that and Bon Jovi - These Days). That cassette lived in all of my cars, right up until my current one which has no cassette player (damn you, modern technology). Still just as good as it was when I first got it!
2). Toby Keith - 35 Greatest Hits
1). Undiscovered Soul - Richie Sambora
Possibly my all-time favourite album of all-time. Ever. There isn't a single dud track in my opinion. Who knew that Richie Sambora had a solo album? In fact, who knew that he had two? Way more bluesy than anything Bon Jovi ever did, Richie Sambora has a far better voice than Mr Bon Jovi lets on...
Monday, 9 April 2012
Listography: Top 5 Reasons Why I Hate Olympics 2012
This summer is going to drive me to distraction. The Olympics have been slowly seeping into everyday life since Christmas. I HATE the Summer Olympics. I hate them even more now that they are actually in my own country. Here is a small selection of reasons why.
1). The mascots are STUPID.
I refer to Fetlock and Mandible. Or Wedlock and Pimblico. Whatever the hell they are called (yes I know it says it on the picture above...But I can never remember their names during my infuriated rants, so they are more often known as Fetlock and Mandible). London Mayor Boris Johnson said that "It's hard to imagine a mascot more in tune with the times." Which just proves my point, because he's a pillock. They are vile. And the BS little story made up about their forming is rubbish. The story should read "Once upon a time, someone with a graphic design degree was paid crap-loads of money to design an Olympic mascot. Unfortunately they got drunk the night before and came up with sod all, so they had to take one of their kids' drawings of their pet gerbils off the fridge instead. The end." Also, they are supposedly made of steel. Whoever came up with that idea completely forgot that if anywhere in the UK is known for steel, it's Sheffield (check your forks, people). Does Sheffield get a mention? No.
2). We only got the Summer Olympics.
Everyone knows that the Winter Olympics gets all the cool and/or dangerous sports. Skiing. Snowboarding. Luge. Ice Hockey. Speed Skating. Bobsled. Figure Skating. Curling. (OK, I said that Winter got all of the cool sports...NOT that all of the sports were cool). The Summer Olympics is essentially school sports day but without the beanbags and hula-hoops. I'm not saying that the Summer sports don't require massive talent and skill and dedicated lives of training, but it's just not as exciting watching someone pull off the perfect long-jump as it is watching someone hurtling down a chute on a tea-tray they are essentially steering with their butt-cheeks, with death snapping at their heels (or rather, head, with them going down feet-first...). You know? I'm fairly certain no-one ever died hurdling. People DIE at the Winter Olympics (RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili). There is an actual risk of death.
3). Every other goddamn product is now being advertised in connection to the Olympics. Washing up liquid. Dog food. Laundry detergent. Chocolate. Cars. Televisions. Holidays. Supermarkets. Trains. I am SICK of hearing the word "Olympics" in relation to completely unrelated products. Unless you're selling sportswear or cures for insomnia, I don't want to hear about the summer Olympics in relation to your product, because it's not related.
4). We don't deserve the Paralympics. End of story. I know it's kind of a BOGOF deal, win the Olympics get the Paralympics free, but even so. We are flooding London, one of THE most wheelchair-unfriendly cities to traverse in the country, with legendary disabled atheletes. Who I'm sure will be fine, because they will be ferried everywhere in luxury cars in London's bus lanes. However, if they were to actually have to travel around the city like every other wheelchair-bound person, how would they find it then? They could use certain Tube platforms...to wave people off from. Could they get on the actual Tube train by themselves from those platforms? Probably not. Could they take advantage of any of the awesome shopping? Probably not, because most of the really cool shops are too old/small to have to obey current regulations, and so you can't get into/around them with a wheelchair. Some places in this country are wheelchair friendly. A hell of a lot of them aren't. "Wheelchair Accessible" doesn't mean "We've only got one or two steps" (yes, people really DO say that). It doesn't mean "You can get to the doorway, but people will have to bring you things to look at to the door." It doesn't mean "You can get in and sit down for a meal, but our toilets are upstairs, is that a problem?" Britain on the whole is pretty abysmal with regards to disabled access, etc.
5). The opening ceremony. We're going to try. Really hard. We're going to get an A* for trying. But, given the logo and the mascots, I'm guessing it will probably suck. Lets face it, Canada aced the opening and closing ceremonies. They had Bryan Adams. Michael Buble. Bobby Orr. Wayne Gretzky. Joni Mitchell. Sarah McLachlan. They had "...The always enjoyable, giant inflatable beaver...."
1). The mascots are STUPID.
I refer to Fetlock and Mandible. Or Wedlock and Pimblico. Whatever the hell they are called (yes I know it says it on the picture above...But I can never remember their names during my infuriated rants, so they are more often known as Fetlock and Mandible). London Mayor Boris Johnson said that "It's hard to imagine a mascot more in tune with the times." Which just proves my point, because he's a pillock. They are vile. And the BS little story made up about their forming is rubbish. The story should read "Once upon a time, someone with a graphic design degree was paid crap-loads of money to design an Olympic mascot. Unfortunately they got drunk the night before and came up with sod all, so they had to take one of their kids' drawings of their pet gerbils off the fridge instead. The end." Also, they are supposedly made of steel. Whoever came up with that idea completely forgot that if anywhere in the UK is known for steel, it's Sheffield (check your forks, people). Does Sheffield get a mention? No.
2). We only got the Summer Olympics.
Everyone knows that the Winter Olympics gets all the cool and/or dangerous sports. Skiing. Snowboarding. Luge. Ice Hockey. Speed Skating. Bobsled. Figure Skating. Curling. (OK, I said that Winter got all of the cool sports...NOT that all of the sports were cool). The Summer Olympics is essentially school sports day but without the beanbags and hula-hoops. I'm not saying that the Summer sports don't require massive talent and skill and dedicated lives of training, but it's just not as exciting watching someone pull off the perfect long-jump as it is watching someone hurtling down a chute on a tea-tray they are essentially steering with their butt-cheeks, with death snapping at their heels (or rather, head, with them going down feet-first...). You know? I'm fairly certain no-one ever died hurdling. People DIE at the Winter Olympics (RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili). There is an actual risk of death.
3). Every other goddamn product is now being advertised in connection to the Olympics. Washing up liquid. Dog food. Laundry detergent. Chocolate. Cars. Televisions. Holidays. Supermarkets. Trains. I am SICK of hearing the word "Olympics" in relation to completely unrelated products. Unless you're selling sportswear or cures for insomnia, I don't want to hear about the summer Olympics in relation to your product, because it's not related.
4). We don't deserve the Paralympics. End of story. I know it's kind of a BOGOF deal, win the Olympics get the Paralympics free, but even so. We are flooding London, one of THE most wheelchair-unfriendly cities to traverse in the country, with legendary disabled atheletes. Who I'm sure will be fine, because they will be ferried everywhere in luxury cars in London's bus lanes. However, if they were to actually have to travel around the city like every other wheelchair-bound person, how would they find it then? They could use certain Tube platforms...to wave people off from. Could they get on the actual Tube train by themselves from those platforms? Probably not. Could they take advantage of any of the awesome shopping? Probably not, because most of the really cool shops are too old/small to have to obey current regulations, and so you can't get into/around them with a wheelchair. Some places in this country are wheelchair friendly. A hell of a lot of them aren't. "Wheelchair Accessible" doesn't mean "We've only got one or two steps" (yes, people really DO say that). It doesn't mean "You can get to the doorway, but people will have to bring you things to look at to the door." It doesn't mean "You can get in and sit down for a meal, but our toilets are upstairs, is that a problem?" Britain on the whole is pretty abysmal with regards to disabled access, etc.
5). The opening ceremony. We're going to try. Really hard. We're going to get an A* for trying. But, given the logo and the mascots, I'm guessing it will probably suck. Lets face it, Canada aced the opening and closing ceremonies. They had Bryan Adams. Michael Buble. Bobby Orr. Wayne Gretzky. Joni Mitchell. Sarah McLachlan. They had "...The always enjoyable, giant inflatable beaver...."
There is no way that we can beat giant inflatable beavers. Game, Set, Match, Canada.
Monday, 2 April 2012
Listography: April Goals
This is another Listography from the lovely Kate Takes 5 blog.
When I saw that the topic was "April Goals" I wondered whether to do this one because I'm only in the country for 15.5 days of April. And then I thought, that's just even more of a challenge!!! :D
So...
Top 5 April Goals:
1). Actually put the "For The Loft" Pile in the loft. Hopefully before we go away. Actually, that should probably be "For The Loft" Piles, seeing as how every room seems to have one, including the landing which isn't even technically a room. :S Fortunately I am stocked up on boxes!!
2). Build a pond! I'm sure this will get a "Project:..." post all of it's own one day soon, but at the moment I have two buckets full of frogspawn/tadpoles waiting for a home! It will possibly be the frog equivalent of a trailer park before we go away (ie, a storage box sunk into the ground in the space where the pond will be), but will be a "proper" pond by the summer. Maybe with fish! Yay! Fish! A step up the ladder! ;) *
3). Use the phones more sensibly. I get 100 free minutes on my mobile. I get cheaper evening and weekend calls on my landline. But as well as that, to phone banks, etc on toll numbers it is cheaper to plan ahead and phone from my landline, rather than waiting and having to phone on my break on my mobile at work. I've already saved about a fiver a month, but I could be more careful!
4). Sort out all the bills/finances before we go away so that I don't have to worry about things not getting paid whilst we are away.
5). Have an AWESOME time in Disney World!!!! I've been waiting for 25 years to go (I'm sure my first recollection of what Disney World was would have been when I was about 3, and we went to watch someone else's holiday videos from their trip)...*squeeeeeeeeeee*
* For those who don't know me in real life, our stock answer to "So, when are you guys having kids?" is "Well, we're starting with a house plant and working up...". The Lucky Bamboo has survived for 2-3 years, so now we're onto tadpoles. If we get to frogs, maybe it's time for a fish or two! ;)
When I saw that the topic was "April Goals" I wondered whether to do this one because I'm only in the country for 15.5 days of April. And then I thought, that's just even more of a challenge!!! :D
So...
Top 5 April Goals:
1). Actually put the "For The Loft" Pile in the loft. Hopefully before we go away. Actually, that should probably be "For The Loft" Piles, seeing as how every room seems to have one, including the landing which isn't even technically a room. :S Fortunately I am stocked up on boxes!!
2). Build a pond! I'm sure this will get a "Project:..." post all of it's own one day soon, but at the moment I have two buckets full of frogspawn/tadpoles waiting for a home! It will possibly be the frog equivalent of a trailer park before we go away (ie, a storage box sunk into the ground in the space where the pond will be), but will be a "proper" pond by the summer. Maybe with fish! Yay! Fish! A step up the ladder! ;) *
3). Use the phones more sensibly. I get 100 free minutes on my mobile. I get cheaper evening and weekend calls on my landline. But as well as that, to phone banks, etc on toll numbers it is cheaper to plan ahead and phone from my landline, rather than waiting and having to phone on my break on my mobile at work. I've already saved about a fiver a month, but I could be more careful!
4). Sort out all the bills/finances before we go away so that I don't have to worry about things not getting paid whilst we are away.
5). Have an AWESOME time in Disney World!!!! I've been waiting for 25 years to go (I'm sure my first recollection of what Disney World was would have been when I was about 3, and we went to watch someone else's holiday videos from their trip)...*squeeeeeeeeeee*
* For those who don't know me in real life, our stock answer to "So, when are you guys having kids?" is "Well, we're starting with a house plant and working up...". The Lucky Bamboo has survived for 2-3 years, so now we're onto tadpoles. If we get to frogs, maybe it's time for a fish or two! ;)
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
listography: Top 5 Beauty Products
I have to confess right here: I have no beauty routine. If something is dirty, I wash it, if it's dry, I moisturise it, if it has a spot, I treat it. End of. I always remember to take my make-up off and clean my teeth. That, if anything, is my Beauty Routine. So I did struggle to name my Top 5 Beauty Products, but here goes.
1). Water.
Yup, I'm an annoying 8 glasses a day girl. I tend to drink more water than anything else. I can tell when I add pop, etc, in because my skin quality goes down the drain.
2). Simple "Vital Vitamin" Day Cream.
3). Johnson & Johnson's face wipes (any flavour, though I like the Dreamy Skin ones below).
I can't be doing with the cleanse-and-tone thing. I've tried. It's time-consuming and buying two products is (oddly enough) twice as expensive. J&J is one wipe to remove it all. Plus (Handy Hint) save the used wipes to use as throwaway cloths for cleaning your bathroom (or anywhere else) with. You can wash them if you've taken something greasy off with them, which I found out by accident when some of them got into the washing basket.
4). Benefit High Beam.
Highlighter, lip sparkler, eyeshadow (I actually get more compliments using it as eyeshadow than anything else). Downside: ludicrously expensive for the amount you get. But I love it anyway. Fortunately it seems to be an annual freebie on Glamour magazine, so I stock up then at £2/4ml instead of £19/20ml.
5). Mark Smith Magic Drops
Again, ludicrously expensive, but hey, it calms down my hair. Plus, it's usually on 3 for 2 at Boots, whcih is when I stock up like a crazy lady!!
HONOURABLE MENTION:
At some stage I plan on doing a Top 5 Nail Products, but as this is pretty much my only essential beauty product, it certainly deserves a mention!
1). OPI Nail Envy
There is rarely (NEVER) a time that I don't have OPI Nail Envy on my nails. It basically strengthens and conditions your nails, and I love it. I regularly have very long nails, and the strength mainly comes from Nail Envy.
1). Water.
Yup, I'm an annoying 8 glasses a day girl. I tend to drink more water than anything else. I can tell when I add pop, etc, in because my skin quality goes down the drain.
2). Simple "Vital Vitamin" Day Cream.
It doesn't smell, and it doesn't leave you sticky, which are my two main look-fors in moisturiser. Plus, my big pot was free with a magazine, and I'm still using it, so it lasts a long time too!
3). Johnson & Johnson's face wipes (any flavour, though I like the Dreamy Skin ones below).
I can't be doing with the cleanse-and-tone thing. I've tried. It's time-consuming and buying two products is (oddly enough) twice as expensive. J&J is one wipe to remove it all. Plus (Handy Hint) save the used wipes to use as throwaway cloths for cleaning your bathroom (or anywhere else) with. You can wash them if you've taken something greasy off with them, which I found out by accident when some of them got into the washing basket.
4). Benefit High Beam.
Highlighter, lip sparkler, eyeshadow (I actually get more compliments using it as eyeshadow than anything else). Downside: ludicrously expensive for the amount you get. But I love it anyway. Fortunately it seems to be an annual freebie on Glamour magazine, so I stock up then at £2/4ml instead of £19/20ml.
5). Mark Smith Magic Drops
HONOURABLE MENTION:
At some stage I plan on doing a Top 5 Nail Products, but as this is pretty much my only essential beauty product, it certainly deserves a mention!
1). OPI Nail Envy
Monday, 19 March 2012
Listography: 5 Reasons I Know I'm A...
Once again this idea is courtesy of Kate Takes 5 who has, by the means of the handy "Subscribe" linky on her page, managed to get me to stick to an idea for this blog for more than two days. Thanks Kate! :D
So, "5 Reasons I Know I'm A..." well, first I have to decide what I am (no suggestions please!!). I couldn't decide, so I'll be running with this one for a few days. Up first...
5 Reasons I Know I'm A(n)...Adult
1). Getting post is nowhere near as fun as it used to be.
I used to wait eagerly for the arrival of the postman. Now I cautiously push the door open after a day at work, trying to assess the upside-down envelopes on the doormat and save the nice ones until last. An empty doormat is a happy doormat!
2). I get far to excited over white goods.
This fact was brought home to me the Christmas I received my first tumble dryer. After a particularly wet summer (Floods of '07...so I'm not exaggerating when I say particularly wet!) of attempting to dry two people's washing in a very small house I was extremely excited to get the top item on my Christmas list. And then rather worried (and slightly depressed) that the top item on my Christmas list was a tumble dryer.
3). I clean items I never (as a child) realised needed cleaning.Now I was a pretty with-it child, and I was capable of cooking, doing my own washing, etc, pretty early on. But there were some things I never in a million years would have thought of cleaning, because they were just always clean (thank you, Mum and Dad). These include:
- Inside the fridge/microwave/oven
- The powder/conditioner drawer in the washing machine
- The front door (maybe I just now live in a dusty/polleny area!)
- Skirting boards/door frames
- Water jug
- Draining board
4). Pay Day isn't fun any more.
When I lived at home and my board, PAYG phone and petrol were my only expenses, I LOVED pay day. I would have lists of things that I needed to buy. This list would usually entail make-up, nail polish, handbags, clothes, shoes, gig tickets, etc. I never quite got around to saving as much as I thought I should. Now I still don't save as much as I think I should, however this is because I'm now less of a happy little worker funding my various spending habits, and more of a delivery person, running between work and my bills. I pick up the money every pay day, gaze at it fondly, and then take it straight to the bank where it is invariably divided up between enough people to ensure that I never see it again.
5). There is no-one to blame when I run out of clean underwear (AKA...I now have a Wash Day).
I am the laundry person in our house. This can often end badly, moreso when we first got married. Mainly because I was used to my laundry cycles, which were sporadic at best. I did not have time for laundry. I owned a phenominal amount of underwear and other clothes. My husband, however, did not. Hence he would run out of underwear after a week, when I could have easily survived for...well...a considerably longer period of time, let's leave it at that. I have now almost mastered the washing. I say almost, because I still sometimes find myself sat up in the dead of night, waiting for the tumble dryer to finish so that one or both of us has dry work shirts for the next day.
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Listography: Top 5 Cookbooks
Now, I debated not doing this Listography, because 1) I don't really cook (yup, there it is, I do not really cook), and 2) when I do cook, I tend to find recipes online.
However, I will still play the listography game.
1) Kirstie Allsopp: Craft
However, I will still play the listography game.
1) Kirstie Allsopp: Craft
Hush, all of you who are saying "But that, quite clearly, is a craft book!" You are right. BUT it is my favourite craft book in the world. EVER. And, it has recipes in it. So...In yo' face. It's my favourite recipe book too.
2) Busy Woman's Slow Cooker Recipes
I love my slow cooker. LOVE. It's like having a tiny little chef sat in my kitchen. I give it meat and veg and go off to work, and come back to a cooked dinner. Sure, this recipe has a few duds (Sausage Bean Casserole is a phrase no longer uttered in our house).
3) St Michael's All-Colour Freezer Cookery Book
This is from 1970-something, and my Nana gave it to me. There are some great recipes and some really weird ones. But if you want classic cooking, go for a classic cookery book!
Four and five don't technically count as cookery "books" as such, but they are my go-tos for Christmas recipes.
4) BBC Good Food Christmas Magazine
5) Good Housekeeping Christmas Recipes
Four and Five are my must-buys. From late September I start trawling the newsagents, pawing through the "Lifestyle" and "Home" and "Cookery" sections, hunting for The Christmas Food Magazines. I should point out right now that, in all of my almost 28 years, I have never actually been called upon to cook Christmas dinner. However, I like having the knowledge and the recipes close to hand should the need arise.
Given my collection of Christmas food magazines (because of course I can't throw them away, they contain different recipes every year), I can now in theory cater any seasonal event that may arise. Christmas Eve supper, Christmas Day breakfast, dinner and tea, Boxing Day brunch, New Years Eve cocktail evening or supper party, carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, all manner of food intolerances, I am prepared.
The amount of items I have actually made from the Christmas food magazines are few. I much prefer the low-stress, low-calorie option of buying them and spending three months poring over them somewhat obsessively, pointing out mouth-watering dishes (that I will clearly never make) to anyone within earshot.
I love Christmas.
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