Ahoy-hoy!

My place to share lots of photographs of my random crafty, makery, bakery and cookery projects, as well as random thoughts that might strike me and are too long for Twitter...

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Really, Internet? Really?! "Brow Arch March"?!

Today many (FB, Twitter, a blog site) internet places informed me that I should be readying myself for "Brow Arch March". Quite how a person does that, I'm not sure. None of the sites clarified. Am I supposed to grow them out, in preparation for all the brow arching to come? Am I supposed to have them arched and ready for March, so I can spend March basking in eyebrowy glory?

I have no idea. I do know that it sounds like a stupid marketing ploy by someone or other to sell more...Whatever you use when you care about your eyebrow architecture.

But it did get me thinking, we could have an entire year of personal grooming themed months (*side note* who doesn't personally groom in some way every day?! OK, I take that back. Maybe it's just from working in retail, but I can think of a few people who definitely don't groom every day/week/month/year).

On with the marketing for a Year of Beauty (marketing experts, please give credit when you inevitably use my genius marketing schemes...):

Jelly-Bits January: Time to tone up everything that escaped your attention at Christmas. Gym attendance already soars during the Post-Christmas Shame Period, why not cash in a bit more?

Philtrum February: Tone that Cupid's Bow! Pucker up for Valentine's Day! Work that infransal depression, girl!

Brow Arch March: Whatever.

Armpit April: It's Spring! We're gearing up to vests, and the like (or, wishing we were as we stare out at the rain). Alternatively, raincoats make you sweat, focus on deodorant sales.

Moustache May: Bleach it! Wax it! Work it! It's your choice!

Joints June: Get your knees and elbows all smooth for summer! Alternatively, get ready to flash those ankles in a fit of Victorian flooziness.

Jawline July: Get defining, ready for your holidays! Sunglasses need to be balanced out by a perfect jawline...Or something... (there are VERY few body parts beginning with a "J", OK?!).

Ass-Crack August: Bikini season isn't all about the chest cleavage, you know. Let's get #ButtCleavage trending for Ass-Crack August.

Septum September: No-one notices the septum until you don't have one, eh Daniella Westbrook? But with cold and flu season upon us, it's time to take care of the most neglected part of the nose.

Obliques October: We can have "The 30 Day Squat Challenge", so let's have "The 31 Day Awkward Twisty Sit-Up Things Challenge".

Nails November: Obviously there has to be a whole month for nails, and what better month than the one leading up to Party Season?

Decolletage December: Quite. We all know how December goes. Party on!

No comments:

Post a Comment